just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
