Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
