In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have feelings that need drinking.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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