Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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