You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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