I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
