Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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