the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
