talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
