It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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