my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
