We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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