burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
