i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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