I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
