I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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