he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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