VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
