on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
do herpes really smell.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So much rum. So many feels.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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