You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
