she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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