Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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