Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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