Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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