clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
