I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I cockslap morals
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
