it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
