this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
