So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
