Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
