what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
