Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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