i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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