we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
