Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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