what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
