I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
