I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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