I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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