I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
