so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
