I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
