u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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