He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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