wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
