She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it's like iHOP with fire
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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