so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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