we have officially lost it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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