I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
