i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
