So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you traded sex for a burrito?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
