Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This baby is an asshole
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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