Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
your like the ambassador to my penis.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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