Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am mentally ready for anal.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
