I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
